Read Ice Chest by J.D. Rhoades Online


A smart, sexy and hilarious heist novel about a crew of thieves who attempt to steal the world’s most valuable jewels from the world’s most valuable body.Clarissa Cartwright, the planet's most famous beauty, is about to take the stage wearing a fortune in jewels, and not much else. In the wings, a motley crew of bumbling crooks is scheming to make off with the biggest heisA smart, sexy and hilarious heist novel about a crew of thieves who attempt to steal the world’s most valuable jewels from the world’s most valuable body.Clarissa Cartwright, the planet's most famous beauty, is about to take the stage wearing a fortune in jewels, and not much else. In the wings, a motley crew of bumbling crooks is scheming to make off with the biggest heist of their careers: five and a half million dollars in precious stones, used to create the world's most expensive piece of lingerie. But mix the glitz and glamour of the highest of high fashion with a team of crooks that would have trouble stealing a sandwich from a deli, and all bets are off.When the robbers find themselves pursued by both the intimidating ex-cop tasked with protecting the world’s most valuable piece of lingerie and Clarissa's insanely jealous and mobbed-up ex-boyfriend, things get ugly. Especially when Clarissa decides she's had quite enough of being an object and decides to turn the tables on both the crooks and the fashion world. Ice Chest combines the page-turning skill of J.D. Rhoades's acclaimed Jack Keller thrillers with the excitement and humor of Ocean's Eleven....

Title : Ice Chest
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781940610801
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 304 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Ice Chest Reviews

  • Jim
    2019-04-21 16:33

    Ricky Vandella, a second rate British comic in the downward arc of his career is tapped to M-Cee, "Enigma Presents The Birds Of Paradise Collection". Enigma, the lingerie people, are trusting Ricky to be the face of this show that has a unique item. The Enigma bra, a five million dollar diamond, and jewel undergarment nicknamed ,"The Ice Chest". Author J. D. Rhoades has once again cooked up a fast paced, action packed thriller chock full of heart stopping suspense. Set in Georgia, there are several groups of very unique characters looking to pilfer the Ice Chest. The lucky model who gets to show Enigma's pride and joy is Clarissa Cartwright. Clarissa naturally is the very unhappy girlfriend of mobster Mario Allegretti. Mario and his boys are out to capture the prize and snatch Clarissa away at the same time. However local thieves Rufe Valentino, and his partner in crime B.D. Gordon have their own plan. Rufe has a nephew named Branson Suggs who just happens to be a lowly waiter at the venue the big event is being held at. Branson becomes the "inside" guy. Branson is in love with another model, Stephanie who keeps causing Branson to lose focus. Rafe and B.D. need hire muscle for this caper. So they hire two eunuch twins - Elihu, and Japeth. The boys it seems had a bad run in with a holy roller group as kids that left them somewhat damaged. In charge of security for this nightmare is 6'4" Charles "Chunk" McNeil, and his petite partner Zoe Piper. Mcneill has several years in law enforcement and security. Zoe at 26 is barely still a rookie. The book comes alive with secondary characters like Aldo"Moose" Cantone, Gareth Gane, redneck millionaire Bo Wentworth, Hamilton Havermeyer, and one zany lady named Hermione ! So with guns, girls, diamonds, fake bombs, and competing robbery plans, we get some some pretty confused participants. What could possibly go wrong ? Oh, plenty. There are no rest stops in this 300 page action thriller. Author J.D. Rhoades has once again crafted an incredible story to get lost into. Rhoades has always been a impressive story teller, and this tale is top notch. Rhoades "Jack Keller" novels have all been pretty spectacular action thrillers. "The Ice Chest", is bold, crazy in places but never a dull moment to be had. J.D. Rhoades is a master at gangster/ crime dialog that keeps his books thoroughly enjoyable to read. I really had a blast with, "The Ice Chest". No doubt about it, five stars out of a possible five stars. If you're not already reading J.D. Rhoades gripping and gritty crime novels some very enjoyable reading is being sadly missed. This is one thriller not to be missed for any reason.

  • Dan
    2019-04-20 16:23

    A fun, quick ride through the heist of the million dollar Fantasy Bra from Enigma lingerie complete with a showdown between bumbling southern yokel thieves and the Jersey mafia.

  • Pamela Wiggins
    2019-04-29 23:26

    Fun and funny mystery, for fans of Carl Hiaasen.

  • Robert James
    2019-05-13 19:12

    The book started out really fast and really good but kind of falls apart at the end. Author definitely is set for making this the first book in a series. Story is kind of a poor man's Donald Westlake.

  • Judy
    2019-04-27 16:09

    Because of the endorsement of C. J. Box I was expecting the book to be a bit better than it was. It was somewhat entertaining though, chiefly because of the characterization. Nut cases.

  • Viccy
    2019-05-11 19:14

    Cross Ocean's Eleven with the Keystone Kops and you've got this caper novel. Enigma Lingerie has created a jeweled bra, worth a fortune in gems, for Clarissa Cartwright, the star of the Birds of Paradise lingerie show to wear. Pandora Security, in the form of Chunk McNeill, former linebacker for the FSU Seminioles and Zoe Piper, are responsible providing security for both Clarissa and the bra. But, Clarissa has just broken up with her mobbed-up boyfriend, who doesn't take kindly to being dumped; a crew of not-very-smart crooks wants the bra; not to mention, the larcenous chief of operations for Enigma. Who will end up in the crosshairs? Or, more to the point, how many people will Chunk and Zoe have to intercept? Lots of laughs and crafty plotting make this a true screw-ball comedy of errors.

  • Elizabeth A.
    2019-05-16 19:13

    Clarissa Cartwright isn’t entirely sure how she ended up being the “It Girl” for Enigma lingerie’s newest fashion line, nevertheless she finds herself heading out on a multi-city tour, ready to be the face of the company.Of course, considering she will be sporting a jewel-encrusted bra worth over 5 million dollars in diamonds, rubies, sapphires and emeralds, it’s not likely many people will be looking at her face anyway, gorgeous as it may be.Paragon Security’s Charles “Chunk” McNeill and his partner, Zoe Piper, have been tasked by Gareth Gane, promotions manager for Enigma, with keeping both the so-called “Fantasy Bra” and the Birds Of Paradise, what Enigma calls the models in their show, safe.It’s a bit of a challenge considering the number of people traveling with the production, not to mention the local personnel at each tour stop, but McNeill is a twice-decorated police veteran turned private security operative with over twenty years’ experience. Even the most experienced security professional, however, can’t account for every possible situation, especially when there are wild cards involved.Enter Atlanta-based thieves and con artists Rafe Valentine and L.B. Gordon. Valentine’s nephew, Branson, happens to work in the kitchen at the hotel hosting Enigma’s Atlanta tour stop, and with Branson in place as the inside man, combined with Gordon’s underworld connections, Valentine thinks he’s finally on to the score of a lifetime. Ambitious but not crazy, the idea is a quick snatch (of Cartwright) and grab (the Fantasy Bra), with little to no violence involved—get Cartwright, take the bra, let Cartwright go, sell the stones, be set for life.An unexpected detour happens on the the way to easy street, of course, or else we wouldn’t have much of a book.And once things go off the rails, they do so in spectacular fashion given that Cartwright’s boyfriend, Mario Allegretti, whom she’s actively trying to dump, happens to be the son of a New Jersey mob boss. Throw in a washed-up British comedian with a penchant for off-color humor who’s hired to MC the fashion tour but decides he can score a major comeback by going wildly off script, a former fashion model turned tour supervisor who has a few surprising tricks up her sleeve, an endearingly misguided “Moose” of a thug, an incredibly handy Hello Kitty Taser (yes, you read that right), and a couple of pissed-off twins who happen to be eunuchs (yes, you read that right, too), and the stage is set for an immensely enjoyable heist caper gone wrong.Ice Chest, the latest release from Shamus Award-nominated author J.D. Rhoades (Jack Keller series), has an early Coen brothers vibe about it, combing laugh-out-loud humor with outbursts of violence, which often have a dark-humor quality to them. Think Raising Arizona meets Fargo meets Ocean’s Eleven… against the backdrop of an over-the-top Victoria’s Secret-style fashion show. Valentine, Gordon and crew may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but they can still cut, and there’s no question Jersey boy Allegretti and his adviser, Paul Chirelli, are as dangerous as it gets. Chunk McNeill and Zoe Piper are as opposite as people can be in almost every way, but Rhoades’s sharp writing and witty dialogue ensure they not only fit together as partners like hand in glove, but that they are also able to seamlessly welcome an unexpected new member onto the team at a run when things go seriously sideways and all hands are needed on deck.Smoothly combining humor and serious high-stakes action is tricky business, as is keeping a large cast both interesting and clearly sorted out, but Rhoades handles the setup and execution with ease, taking both his cast and readers along for a wildly creative and entertaining ride.

  • Jenni
    2019-05-09 16:36

    Fast paced and fun heist novel. Very entertaining.

  • Lori
    2019-05-05 22:11

    Cute but nothing special

  • Edward Smith
    2019-05-10 20:14

    Pretty funny book, I will be seeking out another by J.D. Rhoades

  • Pam
    2019-04-29 21:25