Read It's Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace by Anne Kreamer Online


How often have we heard “It’s nothing against you, it’s not personal—it’s just business”? But in fact, at work it’s never just business—it’s always personal. In this groundbreaking look at what’s really going on from 9 to 5—the crying, yelling, and bullying, as well as the friendship and laughter borne of creative collaboration—journalist and former corporate executive AHow often have we heard “It’s nothing against you, it’s not personal—it’s just business”? But in fact, at work it’s never just business—it’s always personal. In this groundbreaking look at what’s really going on from 9 to 5—the crying, yelling, and bullying, as well as the friendship and laughter borne of creative collaboration—journalist and former corporate executive Anne Kreamer shows us how to get rational about our emotions, and provides the necessary new tools to flourish in an emotionally charged workplace.  With women now the majority of the workforce and the lines between office and personal life blurring as never before, the dynamics of work have shifted profoundly. It’s Always Personal combines the latest information on the intricacies of the human brain, candid stories from employees, and the surprising results of two new national surveys, reported here for the first time, which reached out to workers from all walks of life about their emotions on the job. Both timely and crucial, It’s Always Personal also reveals   • a neurological understanding of the six main emotional flashpoints: anger, fear, anxiety, empathy, joy, and crying • an exploration of why we as a society self-defeatingly regard displays of emotion in the workplace as shameful, and how the different emotional rules applied to men and women affect our modern notions of gender equality • evidence that suppressing emotions can actually have a negative impact on companies’ bottom lines • a step-by-step guide for identifying your emotional type: Spouter, Accepter, Believer, or Solver, with appropriate tactics for dealing with that style in a complex work environment • Emotion Management Toolkits that provide the means to cope with specific emotionally challenging situationsAn innovative study of gender, emotion, and power, It’s Always Personal is an essential companion for everyone—managers and employees alike—navigating the often confusing and challenging realities of the contemporary workplace....

Title : It's Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781400067978
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 256 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

It's Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace Reviews

  • Kressel Housman
    2019-06-30 18:17

    Mere days after a blow-out with my boss in which he blamed me for something I didn’t do and I ended up crying in my cubicle and then putting out feelers for new jobs, I heard a radio interview with the author of this book, and knew I just had to get hold of it. She said that more than half of the women she surveyed admitted to crying in the workplace, and even more disturbing, 42% of the men she surveyed believe that anger is an effective management tool. Since my boss definitely uses anger that way, I figured I could use a good guide to emotional management at work. And so I did something I rarely do. I bought the book.The book illustrates the problems clearly and absorbingly, but I didn’t feel it was that strong on practical solutions. The most concrete piece of advice I got was to confide in a friend, which is common sense, really. I’ve gotten better tips from the books she cited in her bibliography, namely Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office and Ask For It, which I’m now listening to on audio.But there was one “theoretical” discussion I really loved. It was presented visually, so we’ll see if my verbal description does it justice.Think back to elementary algebra and a graph along four quadrants. The horizontal line represents the pessimist/optimist spectrum, and the vertical represents outward expression of emotion to keeping it in. So in quadrant 1 (-x,+y) are pessimists who don’t hold back in verbal expression. The author calls these people “spouters,” and they’re the ones who are most likely to lash out and blame others for their mistakes. In quadrant 2 (+x,+y) are optimists who also express their feeling freely. She calls these “solvers.” They’re the smallest group, but some of the most successful managers are among them. In quadrant 3 (-x,-y) are pessimists who keep feelings in. She calls these the “accepters,” and they’re the biggest group, not in small part because most workplaces force us to accept negative situations and keep quiet about them. And finally, in quadrant 4 (+x,-y) are optimists who keep their feelings in. These she calls “believers” and they're happiest when working for an ideal or a cause. There’s a small questionnaire in the book and an even more comprehensive test on her website if you want to see where you place.I didn’t take the website test, but I’m a hybrid according to the questionnaire, which, the author says, most people are. She called herself a “spolver,” i.e. something between a “spouter” and a “solver.” I’d place myself somewhere between an “accepter” and a “believer,” which means that if I want to become more of an optimist, I will find my strength in my religious beliefs and dedication to causes. Interestingly, she notes that the “believers” group is female-dominant.But I do take issue with two things about her chart. The “accepter” is negative on two scales, but I think of acceptance as a positive thing. It sure beats denial. And while the “spouter” is positive on one scale, to me, it’s the most negative profile on the graph. Who’d want to be around a pessimist who vents? So what I learned is that yes, I should increase my expression of feeling to trusted friends in the office (luckily, I’ve got a few), but becoming more optimistic is the more important step. Because no matter what 42% of men surveyed may think, anger is a counter-productive management tool.

  • Carol
    2019-07-19 18:30

    I like to think I am a Woman of the People. But Kreamer's book forced me to realize that I do put a higher weight on stories told by high-achieving individuals. Kreamer is a former Nickelodeon executive and therefore, the people she calls on to talk about work are not the people I or you would call on. And this was one of the many things that elevated this work beyond the typical social commentary-mixed-with-some-self-help book. Kreamer herself was yelled at by Sumner Redstone, the paleolithic business-saur who owned Nick at the time of her employment. And she cried. Which inspired a chapter on crying at work, including the physiological and psychological reasons behind it. At the end of each chapter, Kreamer offers some ideas for implementing what she had discussed, and these run the gamut from things you are likely doing to really good, fresh ideas. Here's one: if you find that you can't meditate without trying to reign in your wandering mind, try focusing on someone you would like to help. Why yes, that works!

  • Lori
    2019-07-22 16:27

    This is one of the best books I have read in a long time. It makes sense. Anne Kreamer establishes her ethos with the fact that she is has been in the workforce for many years working as an executive. She combines methodolical research from credible sources (her bibliography is pages long) and wisdom from her experiences. I am also impressed with the layout. I love books with indices so I can find things! It's a must-have for anyone in the 21st century workplace. Brava, Anne!

  • Becky
    2019-07-01 19:26

    There are a lot of "new" ideas in here - things I was not aware of with biological make up and how we handle stress, anger, etc. I appreciated the insight, and find it useful especially in my job and dealing with emotional intelligence in the work place. I felt it was a bit long and wordy, however. Maybe it could have been said in a lot less words.

  • Pam
    2019-07-12 16:40

    Won this through Goodreads First Reads...can't wait for it to arrive!!

  • Nina
    2019-06-30 20:22

    I was thrilled to receive this book as part of the Goodreads First Reads program. Kreamer spent 2 years gathering information. She interviewed scientists and psychologists as well as people in the workplace. With the fast-paced society in which we function, and ever-increasing technology, the boundaries between personal and work personas are blurred. Many of us spend more time at work than with family and friends. Although the main theme is crying in the workplace, the book is truly an exploration and explanation of emotion in the workplace. The underlying premise is that our society disdains emotional displays at work. Kraemer gives detailed neurological descriptions of 6 emotional states and a guide to identifying your emotional type. She discusses ways to work with the different styles, whether they are yours or your co-workers. The primary emphasis is on recognizing your emotional style and utilizing the emotion management toolkit suggestions. There are many practical tips for coping with different situations. The book is heavily weighted toward understanding your own emotional reactions and triggers and learning how to deal with them. I would love to see a follow-up with more info on how to deal with co-workers whose emotional style is quite different from one’s own.

  • Jennifer W
    2019-07-13 17:37

    An engaging book. I really enjoyed the scientific insights provided and the chapters on the neurology of emotions. I don't know how applicable this book will be to me in many ways at work. I work in mental health- my job *is* emotions. I think there were some useful techniques to discuss with my coworkers, but it might have been more beneficial to me to have a book that focused on the more day-to-day emotions rather than the big blow ups. Still, there's some easy coping skills mentioned, like having a small token of a peaceful place at your desk (hence why I always have pretty pictures on my desktop ;), or examining and listing your feelings objectively rather than subjectively. I think this will be a book that I may need as a reference as I go on in my career, especially as I think about becoming a manager.

  • Kelly
    2019-07-03 14:13

    I won this book through GoodRead's First Reads program. This was the first book that I have read that really explores emotion in the workplace. I found it extremely informative and wish that I could have read this book while I was with my last company. Emotions and different styles of handling emotions play such an impact in the workplace, but is all too often ignored or downplayed. I found The Workplace Emotion Evaulation Profile (WEEP), an emotion-based version of the Myers-Briggs very enlightening. Kreamer includes a link to be able to complete the profile yourself. My results were very accurate when I completed the WEEP. The Emotion Management Toolkits that are included at the end of each chapter offer practical tips to utlize for individuals and organizations. I definitely recommend this to everyone, but especially to those who supervise others in the workplace.

  • Jennifer
    2019-07-02 13:29

    Won as a goodreads giveaway.This is not the control-your-emotions how-to book that I expected.Rather, it is much more of a scientific treatise on how our emotions work, how acceptance and the handling of emotions in the workplace needs to change due to the women's movement, and a sprinkling of emotional management ideas thrown in.I know, that sounds less than exciting, but I found it enlightening. The chapter on crying at work was particularly interesting to me, since I hate crying at work. Her explanation of why women cry out of anger and frustration, how to handle it, and how to handle it when it happens to others was actually eye-opening and helped me to understand myself just a little bit more - and any book that can do that it worth a read.

  • Snogged
    2019-06-28 16:41

    This book illustrates the problems involved with emotional management in the workplace. The author examines such areas as crying/sadness, fear, anger, and anxiety. The author discusses her own personal experience working for a large media-type firm and shares examples of other women and men who have had to face these issues in the workplace.I was a little disappointed with the practical strategies sections and I had hoped they would be longer and more concrete. I was also hoping that the "test" that Anne Kreamer covers in the book would actually be outlined in the book for the reader to take at home and not on the author's website. I admit that I didn't go take the test, but I did save the site to my bookmarks so maybe, someday.

  • Miste
    2019-06-29 15:13

    At least I will be reading it as soon as I get the book! I entered one of those goodreads give aways for free copies of books and I won a copy (it's the second time I have won)! Will write a review once I get the book and read it. Have to admit that I just couldn't finish it. It just wasn't that compelling for me--especially as a motivational self-help kind of book. The anecdotal pieces that the author threw in just felt like name dropping. The message didn't seem clear and I'm not really sure what her point was. Wouldn't really recommend it as something that would inspire you or direct you on how to make your work situation better really. I've read better.

  • Jamie
    2019-06-30 14:18

    "I recently heard this author on The Today Show, and as a result, this topic peaked my interest. A topic of controversy - always shrouded in shame, frustration, and as the author states in her title - personal. I'm confident this book will bring insight to anyone who has shed tears in the workplace or who has been on the receiving end. Remember the saying there's no crying in baseball? Anne Kreamer should be praised for breaking the silence on the topic of emotions in the workplace. She has personalized the topic by sharing publicly on The Today Show of her own personal experience while as Vice President at Nickelodeon."

  • mlady_rebecca
    2019-07-18 16:18

    I won this book via the Goodreads First Reads program. Got the email on 02/22/2011. I'll let you know when the book arrives. Looks like an interesting book. Fits well with the spat of psychology books I've been reading lately, not to mention a good thing to look at when re-entering the workplace after a prolonged illness.04/13/2011Okay, I'm shelving this one for awhile. Nothing wrong with the book. I just think I've read too many psychology style books lately. Rating, obviously, subject to change.

  • Cindy
    2019-07-01 19:21

    As the title says and as we know it, it's not just business. It's always personal. Kreamer's book is well-researched and well-written such that you can follow her thought process. My favorite part is the practical Emotional Management Toolkit (EMT) that she includes at the end of each chapter to help you develop your emotional intelligence. In all, it's about starting with and reflecting on yourself before jumping the gun. A very enjoyable read and I learned a lot!

  • Brian Cole
    2019-07-08 13:22

    This is an interlibrary loan for me and because of the date I have to abandon this book. The subtitle should have been "is it okay for you to cry in the workplace." On page 160 the author begins an extensive discussion of a test you are suppose to be able to read about and take at a website. Apparently that website has been updated and the test was dropped. I e-mailed the author regarding this and did not receive a reply.

  • John
    2019-07-19 20:14

    A well researched and engaging study of emotions and how they effect the workplace. Kreamer addresses the gender, social and biological differences in why we behave the way we do and does so in a manner that does not come across as stereotypical gender-bias. Reading it was useful in understanding my own emotional 'style' as well as how I can adapt it to improve my work relationships rather than hinder them.

  • Debby
    2019-07-23 13:21

    Discussion of emotions in the workplace with physiological details making up much of the beginning. There there's a discussion of the 4 major emotions shown at work - anger, fear, anxiety & joy with recommendations on how to deal with them.Forced to read this as punishment for yelling at a staff member, it wasn't terribly helpful and I wouldn't have gotten past the first 20 pages if it hadn't been required. Mumbo jumbo!

  • Grace
    2019-06-25 15:38

    4 July 2013: I added a star on the 2nd read. The advice and insight resonated this time around, particularly with thinking about and strategizing about the development and implementation of my Emotion Management Toolkit (EMT). I think last year I may have found the approach a bit hokey, self-help and contrived, but you know, I recognize myself and my emotions now as more commonplace and rational than I have heretofore acknowledged.

  • Kristin
    2019-06-24 12:27

    My dog ate this one while I was at work. Previous books she has found objectionable include one of the Harry Potter series, The Hunger Games, and Baking Illustrated. Even before her destructive act, I found myself dawdling while reading this book; it didn't really hold my attention. The advice seems valuable, so I will probably return to this at a later time.

  • Natalie
    2019-07-19 12:37

    This was an interesting topic to delve into, although I took awhile to read it so I think the impact was lessened for me. I still have questions about work and emotion - the author sets a stage for possible change rather than delineating specific solutions. For a complex issue she touches on many points. The bibliography at the end lists numerous books that sound equally intriguing!!

  • Cindyanne
    2019-06-28 17:40

    A book for everyone to read to better understand emotions in the workplace. I've personally exhibited all the things discussed in this book (even crying), so I found it especially intriguing and enlightening. Haven't taken the test in the book to see my emotional classification, but planning on it, and the EMT toolkits at the end of each chapter would probably come in handy.

  • Natalia
    2019-07-11 14:13

    Great Book. We often forget about our emotions. Nobody teaches us how to be aware of them. But we are emotional beings. This book is a great guide that helps us to know ourselves, to know why do we feel what we feel and the most important: to control our emotions so we're not end up being controlled by them. A great reading for personal growth.

  • Sasha Boersma
    2019-06-30 14:29

    The book wasn't what I thought it would be, so not giving any stars - not fair to the author. I did try to get into it, but I found it mostly collecting what's now being written about in psychology and business blogs (however, this title proceeds this topical trend, being published in 2011!). Would have been one-of-a-kind 4 yrs ago. And likely something I should have read when it first came out.

  • Leonard
    2019-07-15 15:26

    I think this book started a little weak, but has gotten stronger as I read more and more of it. Recommended for those having to deal with the contemporary workplace which is often toxic and harmful. This is especially useful for those in managerial or supervisory positions.

  • Diane Schneider
    2019-07-17 20:35

    Interesting info on how emotions play at work - anger, anxiety, fear among others. I found the stories interesting and the research plausible, but I thought there would be more info on how to handle different situations. Not bad, but not as good as it could have been.

  • Elena Emma
    2019-07-24 20:41

    Absolutely loved the concept of the book. It's very up to date on shifting perspectives in corporate business ethics. And of course, learning just how much people actually cry at work - that's mind bugging!

  • Shureka Bolden
    2019-07-23 15:18

    Lost in need of more navigationI chose a rating of three because while I felt the topic was relevant and the interviews were good situational examples, ultimately I walked away without concrete ways of actually managing toxic work personalities and that environment.

  • Sophi Frost
    2019-07-12 18:23

    I've read as much as I am going to read of this one. It is too drawn out and not enough to the point for my taste. When you are reading something that is work related it has to be quick. I broke up with this book.

  • Cindy
    2019-06-26 15:17

    Biologically women are apt to cry more than men. This is just our biological nature. Phew ~ that makes me feel better! Also, men tend to joke about stuff after tense situations.. and well women don't. Interesting read.

  • Kathy
    2019-07-01 15:24

    Everyone should read Anne Kreamer's book! It's quite a universal topic, emotion in the workplace!Look for my upcoming review & thoughts on It's Always Personal, next week at my book blog: www.marianslibrary.wordpress.comBest,Kathy